Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
