do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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