Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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