Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
