I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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