yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think i have herpe
just one?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So many bounce houses so little time
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
