I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
