You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
