Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
