so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
