Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
