just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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