I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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