apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
