the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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