yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
