how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
