Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
