Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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