Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
