Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
