i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
why is half of my head shaved?
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