I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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