Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
