She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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