Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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