i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
