How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
