He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
