I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
