and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize