I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You are a genius and a whore.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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