Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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