I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he thought i was a dude.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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