I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
