oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
