he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
