right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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