I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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