btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
