Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
