i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
