You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I want you more than these girls want KFC
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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