Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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