Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I need water and some morals
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
