WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
