its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
