um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
