his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
