just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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