Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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