Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
