You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
