I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
