office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
