He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
