Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
