it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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